Professor B’s Holiday Survival Guide

Hey guess what. It’s pretty simple.
Christmas shopping:  If you have to do it, get it done. If it’s isn’t 85% done by the first week of December, you’re fucking up. Get it done.
Stay out of the malls. This bears repeating so I will say it again: stay the fuck out of the malls. Shop online as much as you possibly can. If the package delivery is a problem because you don’t have enough servants to answer the door when the UPS person comes, rent a drop from someplace like PostNet, it’s worth it. Buy shit online and you won’t have to listen to “It’s a holiday season, it’s a holiday season, doo dee doo…” and maybe just maybe you won’t feel like slashing your wrists.
Spend some money on yourself. If you have to go on a consumption binge, blow some of that cash on some of that non-essential shit you’ve been denying yourself. The self-indulgence will make you feel better about all that generosity the season is coercing you into displaying.
Drink plenty of alcohol. Actually those are words of wisdom to live by year round, but they’re especially important during this bleak season.
Enjoy! Happy holidays everybody (-: !

The trouble with IPod

Maybe it’s generational and I’m too much of an old fart to understand why so many people, especially the young, are so enthralled with their IPod gizmos. Sure it’s cute that you can carry around thousands of “songs” in your pocket. But when you are forever consuming music and rarely or never (re-)producing it yourself, you are missing out on an important aspect of the enjoyment and the brain-nourishing exercise that music provides: replaying it in your mind.
That’s right folks. Listen to your music at home, or in whatever setting; then put down the ipod and get out on the street and start walking, and replay the music in your mind. Feel free to hum, whistle or sing softly along with the music. How does it sound? You may find yourself noticing some nuance of melody, or lyric, or structure, that you had not noticed before — and might never have, were it not for this exercise.

Open letter to my Congressman Bob Menéndez

Yesterday I ordered fifty bucks worth of impeach bush gear from, but I still felt that I hadn’t done my civic duty. So today I fired up OpenOffice Writer and got busy on a letter to my Congressperson. Thought I’d open-source it; please feel free to borrow, modify, and follow suit.

December 5, 2005
Hon. Robert Menéndez
2238 Rayburn House Office Building
Washington, DC 20515

Dear Congressman Menéndez:

I write as your constituent, and as a citizen of these United States, to implore you to take immediate action to commence impeachment proceedings against George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld so that they are removed from office and held accountable for their crimes. The evidence of criminal incompetence, greed, corruption, torture, and unnecessary wars of conquest based on lies is more than sufficient to warrant this drastic action. Indeed, it is nothing less than the patriotic duty of everyone who cares about this country’s future — both citizens and elected officials —  to act now to remove the Bush administration if we are to avert further murderous misadventures like the Iraq war. Bush and his cronies are undermining the security of this country on every level — economic, social, environmental, and military. They have also done immeasurable damage to the United States’ relationships abroad, having earned the well-deserved fear and hatred of much of the rest of the world.

Bush has got to go.

For a legal case in favor of impeachment I refer you to and to

I very much look forward to your response on this vitally important issue.

Very truly yours,

Professor B