I wonder if the general lack of knowledge, culture and familiarity with the fine points of English could be partially attributable to the fact that, after all, we are still one of the nations with the largest middle class, speaking in socio-economic terms. In other countries that still retain clear divisions between the upper and lower classes marked by huge disparities in resources of all types, no one expects the lowly masses to know anything. Despite recent ecomomic hard times, the USA still offers the best shot at improving one’s financial circumstances. Education and culture don’t necessarily track that improvement, though. Of course, this doesn’t explain moronic college students, but as they say, “Garbage in, garbage out.”

I work in downtown Chicago, just a few short blocks from the famous retail establishment, Marshall Fields, affectionately known by insiders as simply, “Fields.” In order to access the stairwell leading to the Red Line “El” train, passerbys must -oddly enough- pass by an individual who stands in front of Fields every single week day with a crackly amplifier and a poor quality microphone preaching loudly and passionately about the sinful ways of mortals. His sermon never changes and he always admonishes those whom he spots smoking that, “THERE ARE NO CIGARRETTES IN HEAVEN!” This assertion is followed by a related concept: “THERE ARE NO WHISKEY BOTTLES IN HEAVEN!”
Well, my question is simply this: What the hell is the point of a heaven like that?